Meant to be…
The real love story of the unreal 21st century!
Chapter 11 The Seasons
July rain had me as it’s captive. I had never enjoyed or had the sense to enjoy the beauty in the simplest things. But then, I was gald to be the rain’s captive; of its charm, its magnificence and beauty. I had been drained in the beauty of the rain, its breeze and all of a sudden, I realise that we all admired the darkness only when it was cloud’s guest. When I saw and thought of the clouds, I thought of her. She was just like the rain. She was magical but alluring, unpredictable but hopeful.
She held her emotions deep in her heart just like the clouds. Once her heart couldn’t hold the feelings any longer, she just poured down the emotions. Without her I was the desert that incessantly longed for the rain which subconsciously forgot that it was meant to be like that; dry and lifeless. I already had the contemplation that love would be a ‘luxury’ for me and then it at last seemed to be true. I should’ve rather concentrated on Engineering.
I was 24 hours away from the first day of college. It had been 2 months since I had left Coimbatore. Chennai seemed to be welcoming in all aspects. And Chennai taught me that in order to let go of a fond memory, of a person or a thing; you had to stay distracted and busy. And so I had started playing cricket to keep me occupied. I finally indulged myself in a sport, I had made new friends and had met many people. Chennai kept me going when I was struggling to find a way. Chennai was mysterious to me to be honest. The culture beguiled me and it was not just Chennai Tamizhan but people from all the districts were there. There existed so many different dialects in practise but of course, “Chennai Tamizh” had always stood out. My team captain Ragu became one of my closest mates and all his friends were now my friends too. He had also enrolled himself in SNN and he had opted Civil Engineering too. We were planning to join the college cricket team soon. I was quite happy to have a friend already.
Having a friend before you enter a new place is a mixed felling of security and ecstasy.
Well, my life as an Engineer officially began. I was quite nervous-anxious on how it was going to be. I wanted to pursue Visual Communication but I had joined Civil Engineering just because of my parents. I could see the pride and emotion in the eyes of my Mum and Dad. I knew that my Mum, she loved me. My Dad was emotional too and that was something fishy, maybe it was probably because I learnt to play Cricket that he finally thought that I was worthy of something. The college was “just” 48 km away from our residence. Well I hoped all Engineering colleges had the same issue. They were all built in the outskirts of the cities and every Engineering student either had stayed in a hostel or had to travel in a bus for almost 3 hours a day. Mum had already packed my lunch and they seemed to be standing there awaiting the moment to bless their son who was venturing into the new journey that he obviously didn’t wish for. But I had other ideas. I didn’t believe in luck, blessings or God. All that I had believe in, was myself and my strength. I bid them “peace” and then I had left in style while Ragu joint me on the way. Suhail was pursuing B.sc Visual Communication in Hyderabad and Braga is pursuing Bsc Viscom in Loyala. Atleast I had Braga with me in Chennai but Suhail had promised to visit me ‘every now and then’. The College seemed to be ‘Lit’ and the culture was at its finest form. People socialized very easily. And my classroom was the exact opposite of what I had always imagined. The benches and rows were neatly set, books that were as big as me and lectures that were exacty like Newton’s most creepy law’s explanation. I was trying my best to like what was learning but I was rather getting used to it.
“Life is not fair to us everytime afterall”
Somehow I had managed to cross 3 months. Since the college reopened, there had been a rumour mongering about a girl named Riya who was happened to be my classmate and Ragu’s cousin. Everyone of my friends said that she had a crush on me. But I didn’t care about her. Ragu even asked me about that but I had been telling him that I had been ignoring the rumor and her. Well Riya was really a beautiful girl I literally got to see her everyday. But I didn’t think that I was completely out of Shaina’s memories. I had the rest of 4 years to think over it and when I’d feel that I was ready, ‘maybe I’ll commit to her’ I thought.
“Who knows what life has for us in hold ?”
I heard that it had been raining there in Chennai. But surprisingly it was not in Coimbatore. The sun was shining so brightly that it hurt so much to even look at it. Sometimes we all just wish for the Sun to disappear and for the clouds to be dull. But at the same time we ought to realise that without the Sun, we cannot start the day. Without the Sun the plants cannot perform their photosynthesis. Without the Sun the Flowers would not bloom. Without the Sun the seeds would not rise from the Land.
‘Maybe he is just like the Sun’.
He was inevitable, unignorable and painful at the same time. To be honest I didn’t think that I couldn’t survive without the Sun afterall. I needed my vit D, don’t you think ?
I was in my 11th grade then. Computer Science was something that I had always loved. Machines amused me because they were less complicated than humans. HTML and C++ and Java had excited me on a whole new level. I could create a new app through that. I could even learn to code. I could become the Superwoman who topped every men out there by becoming the only superior coder. Well, that again exhibited my ego there, I always wanted to be at the top. It had been 4 damn months and I hadn’t heard anything from him or about him. And I did realise that thinking about him would only make me avert from my dream of becoming a Superwoman. I thought that I was absolutely practical and I should never intervene my personal life in my professional life. But Sridev and his memories were haunting me, wanting to know if I should wait or let go. Letting go was not that easy. Afterall I was really the worst at letting poeple go and their memories because I liked to cling onto the beautiful memories a little longer.
“Oh Sun! Don’t you take adieu?
Show mercy on us before its over due,
Take a little time to rest yourself form the awry days;
While I dream about my lost love with the murky rays.
Oh Sun! Now come back again !
Don’t you too leave me with this atrocious pain,
The roses in the garden would not bloom;
For your beautiful glow is better than the gloom.
It took time for me to realise,
That my lover can never contest Lonchinvar.
Now Sun don’t you too abandon me,
For I donot intend on being forgotten again.”
I was not one of those girls who cried because of her first love had failed…. Well perhaps I was, but I was going to wait for him with all my heart that one day or another he would come for me….. if my love for him was as clear and pure as the water of Ganges. Like someone had said,
Waiting is a sweet pain.
Well, it was definitely a pain but I’m quite unsure of it being ‘sweet’, that is ridiculous.
I even have read in the Bible about the great man of God, Israel. He awaited for fourteen years, and worked in his Uncle’s farm to earn his love. To earn the consent of his Uncle, to take his daughter Rachel’s hand in marriage. A man and a woman waited for ‘fourteen’ years to be together.
I didn’t think that I could forget the guy ever in my life but, I intended on waiting. Wait till the Cupid gives him back to me.
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